Wednesday, December 23, 2009

What Roles Are You Playing Concerning Your Children's Future?

"Unfortunately, many people do not realise that almost nothing is ever accomplished by anyone without their having spent some time at it, thinking about it, and analyzing it.  Most people won't stop to analyze.  Some do not even know how to do it well.  Those hwo have trouble with self-analyzing probably need to get someone they trust to help them.)  - Ben Carson (Think Big) P. 158


Whether we are conscious of it or not, before they manifest in reality, everything we do in life is ruled by visions. By the way, what is a vision?  A vision is simply a mental picture of what one wants to be or achieve.  This means that there's always a mental picture of anything we do before we actually do it.  So let's take a situation like these:  "I want to travel to Ibadan".   This is a simple statement made after I had given at least a random thought over what I want to do. The next thing is that I begin to picture Ibadan in my mind. Then I will begin to make preparations towards Ibadan.  I will ruminate over its geographical location, where to board the vehicle or flight (if I can afford that), when to go, my ultimate destination in Ibadan, the purpose for which I am travelling, the duration of my stay, and all sorts of arrangements.  Then I will take practical steps by venturing to go to Ibadan and shortly, am in Ibadan.  What I have simply done here is that I have developed a vision and have taken practical steps that landed me in Ibadan.  Therefore whether we want to drink, eat, travel, school, choose a career or a hobby, write a book, fly,  swim, walk, marry, give birth, work for a particular organisation, we want to commit a crime, set up a business, build a house,  etc whatever we desire to do in life, believe me none of these things happens without first having developed a vision. Without a vision, there is no achievement whatsoever.

Be that as it may, let's ask ourselves, how do we develop a vision.  There are only two ways to do so:  First, it can be developed by the persons concerned themselves or they be assisted to develop it.  A child sees a Legal Practitioner in his full regalia. He admires him and wants to be like him.  Then he comes up with a statement, like this "I'd like to become a Lawyer when I grow up".  From that day his eyes become opened to everything legal practice and therefore gathers more information that helps him to reinforce his belief in becoming a Lawyer.  Eventually, unless he changes his mind along the line, he will end up becoming a Lawyer.

However, there's another child, almost completing his basic education but really has never given a thought to what career choice he would tailor her readings to when she steps into a University.  (Can this be?  Yes this does happen, especially these days when youngsters hardly develop their own visions).  But someone somewhere (who knows the nature, the character traits, the strengths and weaknesses, the talents, and so on  e.g. parents, uncles, friends, brothers, teacher, religious leaders, etc) of the child in dilemma may counsel that child towards choosing a particular career path.  If she buys into it, then she begins to self-analyze such advice and gradually picks up several reasons why she should follow the counsel (or reject it).  If she buys the idea, then she works at it and eventually becomes successful in that chosen path.

Ben Carson in his book "Think Big" at p. 159 has this to say, "This (self-analysis)  is what people must do, regardless of their socio-economic background.  To make the most out of life, all of us need to stop, think, (and analyze) , and use the talents God has given us."

There are less problems with those who are able to develop their own visions and naturally and passionately pursue them by themselves.  They are already fired towards a particular direction and it will be very difficult to talk them out of such paths.   The issue, however are those who are unconscious of who they are and hereby are unable to develop their own visions.  Such persons (whether our children, relatives, friends, colleagues, etc) surely need proper help to be able to develop their own visions and work towards actualising them.

However, to do it successfully, a word of caution is needed.  It should be done based upon the full knowledge of the total personality traits (e.g. unique talents, demonstrated academic or vocational ability, natural instincts, etc) that will without push, ordinarily trigger off the person being assisted.  Advise must not be given based on the personal aims and ambitions of the Counsellor or his or her likes for the person being guided.  Bennie rightly summarised with the story of a particular parent who got it all wrong while their smart child got it perfectly right!  The story, which I think is highly instructive for us in whatever capacity we are acting (parents, friends, relatives, colleagues, religious leaders, guidance and counsellors, etc) is quoted below:

"I want to point out one big mistake I have noticed particularly among the rising middle- and super=middle-income families.  The parents who themselves never achieved try to take over the lives of their children and decide their future for them.  The same is true for families that push their children into areas of study in which they themselves have achieved, assuming that their children must follow the same occupation.   In both instance,s the parents are pushing, trying to channel the youngsters into areas for which they may have no talent.


For individuals to take a stand against that pressure is not easy.  Immediately, I think of my friend, Hamilton, Mosses II - we call him Chip Moses.  His great grand-father, grandfather, and father were all Harvard-trained lawyers.  Quit naturally, the family fully expected Chip to be a Harvard-trained  lawyer, too.  Chip did go to Harvard but bucked the system.  Instead of law, he chose medicine - and the family was not happy with his choice.  


This man who stood against family expectations ia a highly talented physician today.   He also "happens" to be vice-president of Johns Hopkins Hospital.  In the area of medicine, Chip has excelled because he recognised that his talents lie in the scientific sphere.  


Chip is the kind of individual who declares, "I will not be channelled by history or family pressure into a certain area.  I will stop and recognise my own talents and then use them appropriately." 

I think we all have some great lessons to learn from the above story.  Good morning.

Recommended readings for today:

Spiritual Development: Read   1. Prov. of (today's date e.g  if today is 21st, read Prov. 21) . Others: 1 chapter each in : Gen., Psalm  ; & Matthew.  Read them progressively until you cover the entire Bible. 



2. Ben Carson's "Gifted Hands" or Yemi Omogboyega's "Better Tomorrow" click here to read the latter FREE. (It can also be any other book of your choice!)
3. Read at least 1 of today's newspapers; add /or a magazine


I'm too busy to read all these! It is not impossibe to do so. Do your very best. Ignorance can cost you everything, including your dear life! But knowledge will preserve them all.

Action points:    If this article has benefited you in anyway, please share it by sending our link www.dailyenergiser.blogspot.com to your all your contacts AND  advise them to sign-up to receive it regularly.   Better still, send us their contact addresses, we shall (introduce ourselves through you) and approach them to subscribe.  Send us minimum of 50 contacts  at: treasuredynamics@gmail.com now, and receive a e-copy of my book "My Life Is in My Hands" FREE.   Send 100 and above  to receive a copy of "This Thing Called Marriage" (if single) or "Now That You Are Married, Make It Work"  (if married). Send 200 and above and receive both books!

Quote of the day:  "Hormones significantly influence white cells and the body's ability to fight disease.... people who become very depressed do not do well in recovering from disease." - Ben Carson "Think Big" p. 148