The Root Cause of
Broken Marriages
"And the Lord God said,
it is not good that the man should be ALONE:
I will make him an help meet for him.". Gen. 2:18
Marriage should be for life. God instituted it for the fundamental purpose of giving the man companionship. We are therefore social beings. It is very difficult especially for a man to survive on his own without a woman companion. He will be idle and an idle man is the devil's workshop.
No matter how we look at it, loneliness is the single most fundamental primary cause of broken marriages. It was during the brief period of loneliness that Satan approached Eve, enticed her with something sweet and brought her low. If Adam was around he would not have succeeded because the two together, would have been able to resist him. Satan therefore capitalised on the 'softness of a woman's heart'. We all influence ourselves of course. No wonder it did not take time for Eve, being the closest person to Adam to bring him down thinking she was helping him.
Sarah, in her private time, hatched an idea for Abraham to bring forth children from Haggai. And Abraham brought forth Ishmael!
Marriages that eventually break down do so usually within a period of a couple remaining incommunicado and gradually they separate themselves in the spirit and subsequently in the physical. Then comes loneliness. A man would begin to explore the alternatives in his privacy while the woman begins to feel insecured and would seek counsel from the so-called 'confidants' on how to steer the sheep of her life. Somewhere in between, both the man and the woman begin to see in more details some 'opposite-sex friends' either in their social or official lives and begin to give some thoughts to their emotional attachment. The men may even stray into alcohol, smoking, etc to ward of some lonely moments.
The longer they are apart, the wider the gulf and finally, they consider formal separation which will eventually accellerate the pace of their loneliness and inability to resist other temptations because a sudden 'freedom' has been gained. A reasonable period of physical separation is one of the fundamental ingredients that the courts will consider in any divorce proceeding before granting it. So it has to be that there's clear evidence of a period of loneliness.
How can couples break the jinx of loneliness? It is simple but most neglected. Closeness! Couples ought to relate as babies who are always fund of themselves. They ought to play together, talk together, eat together, walk together, pray together, wine together, dine together or glue together as children will. More importantly, they ought to go move together as much as is humanly possible.
Moving together should however not be an instrument to monitor or police one another. That is jealousy, another patently dangerous factor that tears rather than unite a couple. However the benefit of a couple moving (or even travelling) together is that such closeness or presence before one another almost all the time helps to ward of either of them from being tempted. And this is the most potent instrument for fostering cohesion between a husband and wife. Because they are always close, there will be more understanding fostered through unending discussions, there will be prevention of 'straying eyes' common to men.
Therefore for any marriage to succeed, the monster called LONELINESS must be totally banished from the family. Are you far from your husband or wife? Beware! You may be courting divorce! Beware! Mike Murdock the Great Minister of God and Gospel Singer has this to say on a couple staying apart "Don't let it happen in your marriage. Stay together at all times.... you're defeating the whole purpose of marriage when you are apart!" Good morning.
